Many people get to know their love for online dating. Others have been visiting one dating site after another without success for years. But why is it that some singles find their dream partner online and make a happy relationship, but others do not?
The 11 most common mistakes and how to avoid them
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Use the right platform
Basically, one should rely on well-known dating sites and online dating agencies, where as many singles are registered. The more members, the higher are despite greater „competition“ but also their own chances of success. Overview: Recommended dating sites , online dating sites, and casual dating sites .
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Text desert in profile
Hardly anyone reads long, extravagant profile texts. With detailed information you should wait to get to know each other directly. Profiles attract attention if they are original, concise and crisp. The goal is to leave an impression. This succeeds through creativity and wit. At the same time you should learn something about the person behind the profile. Interesting are people who lead a busy life, pursue hobbies and are interested in things.
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Unsuitable or painted profile pictures
Blurred selfies, low-quality photos where your own face is not recognizable or too revealing shots are absolute no-gos. Those who take online dating seriously, should definitely invest time in good profile recording. After all, the profile picture is the calling card within the dating site. Skillful Photoshoppen makes supposed „problem areas“ disappear in no time, at the first meeting in Real Life, the small breasts, the bacon ring and the thinning hair return relentlessly. If you want to avoid disappointment, you should renounce alienation and stand by your own body. The „right“ partner will accept these things. Read more: Tips for the perfect profile picture
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The profile photos are appealing, the text makes you want to get to know each other and thanks to the system-internal news function, the contact is made with just one click. This makes the quick writing seductive. However, women are almost overwhelmed by news. They are already in time unable to answer all interested parties. Often it is not enough even for a rejection. Therefore, the first contact with online dating should be as original and humorous as possible. Empty phrases or low-grade make-ups are likely to be deleted immediately. Ideal are comments on the profile. Maybe there is a common hobby or the location in a photo reveals something personal that you can allude to? Read more: Tips for the first message
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Too high expectations of externals
Most people are not catalog beauties. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Those who are not prepared to deviate from their optical ideal when seeking a partner may have to search for a very long time. It pays to think outside the box and be open to alternatives. Of course, there must be physical attraction. However, this alone can not build a sustainable relationship. For this to succeed in the long term, life ideas, interests and the feeling for each other must be right.
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Bad spelling & grammar
No-one expects online dating to include Nobel Prize-winning texts. But the news should be written with care and diligence and be as error-free as possible. Those who do not take their time do not seem to be seriously interested in finding a partner. These issues are easy to fix: Word’s spelling corrections indicate obvious typos and grammatical errors. If in doubt, the online Duden also helps.
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Online dating is not a support group. Endless reflections on past relationships, past misconduct, mental and other issues cause negativity to dominate dating. If you send out such messages, you probably prefer to singles, which are similarly burdened or bring a strong helper complex. At worst, one unintentionally signals that you are not ready for a new relationship. Those who want to build a healthy, sustainable relationship should be positive and life-affirming.
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Clamps, burettes, gluing
For women, online dating is more risky than men. Anyone can become victim of impostors and swindlers. Only vigilance helps here. But with women there is another fear: Who is the man with whom I meet? Do I have to expect sexual assault? It is therefore advisable for men, when online flirting not too strong to cling to women or demanding to perform. This works – even without evil intentions – deterrent and scares many women.
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Panic & pressure on the first date
Flirting works great online, the chemistry is right and the first real meeting is imminent. In this situation, the nerves are bare on most singles. Fear and excitement increase the nervousness. You do not want to do anything wrong. However, the immense pressure means that this is probably what happens. It is better to approach the first meeting relaxed and to be surprised. After all, you have nothing to lose. Either the sparks actually spray on both sides, then you’ve landed a direct hit, or it does not work, then at worst you spend a bit of time with a nice person and keep looking.
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Too long to wait with the first meeting
It’s not a good idea to chat with an online dating partner for months and exchange emails. It is better to arrange a meeting in a timely manner. The sooner clarity is, the better. If the purely virtual contact leans too long, there is a danger that the erotic tension will disappear. Maybe trust will grow instead. But goal is not to find a new best friend. It’s about finding the partner for life in online dating and finally ending your own singles life.
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Encounter in your own home
If you meet the online dating partner for the first time, the meeting should take place in a public place. Your own apartment is taboo for security reasons. Suitable meeting places are cozy cafes, restaurants or bars. It is important that there is room for discussion. At the same time there should be an opportunity to keep the meeting short if it does not „spark“. A small snack or a delicious coffee breaks the ice and makes you have something to do. Questions and active listening keep the conversation going. From the previous online contact you know a lot about the other person. This can be followed. Read more: Where to go on the first date?